The Flip Flop Girl

Flip Flop Girl Finds Flip Flop Boy

It was in my senior year that I really came around to becoming the flip flop girl I am today. I think my chickens came home to roost, as they say. All the things that were burning inside me, all my desires, all my fantasies, had to be met head on. There was no turning back. I was a glorious young woman in full bloom and in full command of whatever her heart desired. Nothing really left to stop me. I had gotten to taste two extremes in boy action: one wild but stupid and the other mild, maybe distant, leaving me wanting more. That fall, I set aside my Doc Martens, and started out the year in some hellishly red flip flops with hot red nail polish to match. I was on fire and I wanted people to know it. I was smart, as smart as a teenager could be I thought, but I also wanted to shake things up and do it on my terms.


Having said that, I do regret that I didn't make things work with David. At the time, I put a lot of it off on him. I was going with my feelings and my feelings were very strong. In the end, if you can't trust your gut, what do you have, right? Well, I certainly wasn't being logical and even-tempered about it. I was working from some deep-seated passions that weren't being met. That's how I felt at the time. And when you're a teen in heat, you sometimes can't think straight. All of this fire within me led me to Brian, a guy who was cool without trying. He was handsome, athletic, and a quick wit. He also seemed to know what he was doing. There was no awkwardness with him. I remember thinking about him while I was still with David. I remember contemplating somehow getting to know him. And then, on that first day of class, he walked up to me. He said he was continuing on as part of the staff for our school paper and he wanted to do a profile on me. It was perfect. He said he liked my illustrations from last year's yearbook and even wondered if I might want to join the newspaper staff. Well, whatever he asked, I was going to say yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Then he put the icing on the cake. He looked down at my feet and smiled. "You have very pretty feet." Oh, my god. Guys had said that but not the right guy and Brian was looking very much like the right guy! And things only got better. They got better really fast.

Brian asked if I'd like to meet him in our newspaper lab for the interview the next day before classes started. Of course I would! I didn't see him again until that next morning. It was so exciting to finally start in on something with him. I knew it was suppose to just be an interview but I also knew that most of these high school features were just fun fluff: a chance to flirt, gossip, or whatever. I had applied a new coat of candy apple red to my toes and offset it with hot pink flip flops. I distinctly remember he couldn't get his eyes off my feet the moment I walked in the door. The feeling was so intense it gives me goose bumps even today, considering what happened next.

We made ourselves comfortable at a long table with chairs facing each other. I had a feeling I could do just about anything and Brian didn't let me down. Without thinking, I pushed my feet up and plopped them down on his lap. "Brian, before we do anything, I really could use a foot massage." He kept looking at my feet. I wiggled my toes, the flip flops starting to come loose. He took hold of both my feet.

"Rachel, you do have such pretty feet. How did you know I would appreciate them?"

"You told me yourself yesterday!"

"I did start to say that. But I didn't say how much."

"Show me."

This is what did it for me.

He slid off one flip flop and raised my foot to his face.

"They smell like roses."

I giggled. I wasn't sure what would happen next. I was coming close to being on the edge of my seat.

He still had the flip flop in his hand. I think he was rubbing it between his fingers.

"Rachel, I'm really turned on."

I felt like I was at the height of sophistication. I felt invincable. It was like the two of us were having a good laugh on everyone else. We knew something no one else did. We were hot. We were horny. And we were smart as hell.

He pressed my foot to his mouth and started lapping away like a dog. I scrunched up my toes and he licked all the little crevices. I spread my toes and he licked everywhere in between. I was shaking. I was wet. I couldn't believe how lucky I could be. I needed this so bad. Brian. Yes. He had unlocked a door that was going to stay open from now on.

This was only the start. I knew it was only going to get better but not necessarily right then. I pulled my foot away.

"Oh, Brian, you don't know how much I needed that. But I want to hold back, ease back."

"You're right, Rachel. This is new for me too. I mean, like this, just out of the blue."

"I just don't want us to get caught being stupid about things."

"I know."

And I'm glad I put the brakes on it when I did just to let him know I wasn't some out-of-control nympho. I wasn't really into living out some porn fantasy once I came to my senses. I'd like to think Brian would have stopped too at some point. But then, just as soon as we had calmed down, I know I started thinking about how hot that was. It left me wanting more and I instinctively felt it left him wanting more too--but in a good way. I know that was my logic. And it worked. It worked very well and led to fullfilling everything I could have wanted back then as we embarked on our new shared path.

Labels: autobiography, blogs, boyfriends, dating, erotica, first love, flip flops, foot fetish, high school, love, sex, toe sucking, toes

Flip Flop Girl: Who Am I, Where Did I Come From, Where Am I Going?

With apologies to Guaguin, these are questions I ask of myself: Who am I? Where did I come from? Where am I going? And I keep asking them and sometimes I get different answers but a pattern emerges and I take notice and I want to write about it and share it with someone.

If you do something long enough, maybe you do start to become the thing you do. If there's any skill that is acquired, that's a bonus. But, you would hope, that your preoccupation is healthy and good for you. I do have a thing for feet. I admit it. But I always want to group it among a whole array of libidinal delights and, just as important, sources of enlightenment. I get high from thinking that the whole world is just under my feet.

I know I clued into this at an early age. I asked my mom and she confirmed that I was an avid toe sucker. That doesn't prove anything, of course. But I just wondered if I did. Some babies might not. Is that possible? Maybe all babies do. I'd have to look into that one. What are my earliest memories? The California sun and the beach. It was inevitable. I made a bond very early: toes in the sand as far back as I can recall. Was it just sensuous or was it sexual too? Well, what do you expect when there are thousands of nerve endings on our feet that are connected to every nerve ending in our bodies? I think if you're a sensual person, like me, you can't ignore this.

Should I fastforward to puberty? I'm thinking what else to say at this stage. I guess I'll be coming back as I make more connections. I can't say that I was over-sexed at an early age. I was more just in touch with the world and myself. I wasn't molested by anyone. I think what I'm saying is actually pretty common. Maybe I'll be the one to get in trouble for being so vocal about it, which really shouldn't be the case. Oh, there's also the fact that I blossomed early, that made it easier for me in some respects to tune in to my sexuality. I was never the wall flower type. So, I had boyfriends early in life, I'd say by the time I was fourteen or fifteen. I consider that early but I suppose it's not. And nothing against being shy. We all learn in our own ways, don't we?

Since I'm The Flip Flop Girl, I should tell you that I have worn flip flops for as long as I can remember! But my mom, the saint that she is, made me always remember to mix up my foot wear with other types of shoes to avoid becoming flat footed! I think she was right. I know she was. Girls make the mistake of living solely in flip flops and lose a lot of arch support. Flat feet are cute but you want to be good to yourself.

I also remember insisting to go barefoot as much as possible. This lasted for a short while, right up to when I nearly cut my foot on some glass. Ouch! And the sidewalk would just get way too hot to pad about in barefeet. I'd still do it sometimes just for the fun of it. I haven't really bothered to do it since childhood. One thing is that we don't have as many nice smooth sidewalks as we used to! At least not in my neighborhood. You'd have to go to a ritzy suburb, like where my parents live, to find a classic sidewalk surface. And, when I visit, I have padded about a little on the sidewalk to get the mail or pace about just a little.

Labels: autobiography, blogs, dating, foot fetish, journal, memoir, toe sucking, Writing