The Flip Flop Girl

Flip Flop Girl: Who Am I, Where Did I Come From, Where Am I Going?

With apologies to Guaguin, these are questions I ask of myself: Who am I? Where did I come from? Where am I going? And I keep asking them and sometimes I get different answers but a pattern emerges and I take notice and I want to write about it and share it with someone.

If you do something long enough, maybe you do start to become the thing you do. If there's any skill that is acquired, that's a bonus. But, you would hope, that your preoccupation is healthy and good for you. I do have a thing for feet. I admit it. But I always want to group it among a whole array of libidinal delights and, just as important, sources of enlightenment. I get high from thinking that the whole world is just under my feet.

I know I clued into this at an early age. I asked my mom and she confirmed that I was an avid toe sucker. That doesn't prove anything, of course. But I just wondered if I did. Some babies might not. Is that possible? Maybe all babies do. I'd have to look into that one. What are my earliest memories? The California sun and the beach. It was inevitable. I made a bond very early: toes in the sand as far back as I can recall. Was it just sensuous or was it sexual too? Well, what do you expect when there are thousands of nerve endings on our feet that are connected to every nerve ending in our bodies? I think if you're a sensual person, like me, you can't ignore this.

Should I fastforward to puberty? I'm thinking what else to say at this stage. I guess I'll be coming back as I make more connections. I can't say that I was over-sexed at an early age. I was more just in touch with the world and myself. I wasn't molested by anyone. I think what I'm saying is actually pretty common. Maybe I'll be the one to get in trouble for being so vocal about it, which really shouldn't be the case. Oh, there's also the fact that I blossomed early, that made it easier for me in some respects to tune in to my sexuality. I was never the wall flower type. So, I had boyfriends early in life, I'd say by the time I was fourteen or fifteen. I consider that early but I suppose it's not. And nothing against being shy. We all learn in our own ways, don't we?

Since I'm The Flip Flop Girl, I should tell you that I have worn flip flops for as long as I can remember! But my mom, the saint that she is, made me always remember to mix up my foot wear with other types of shoes to avoid becoming flat footed! I think she was right. I know she was. Girls make the mistake of living solely in flip flops and lose a lot of arch support. Flat feet are cute but you want to be good to yourself.

I also remember insisting to go barefoot as much as possible. This lasted for a short while, right up to when I nearly cut my foot on some glass. Ouch! And the sidewalk would just get way too hot to pad about in barefeet. I'd still do it sometimes just for the fun of it. I haven't really bothered to do it since childhood. One thing is that we don't have as many nice smooth sidewalks as we used to! At least not in my neighborhood. You'd have to go to a ritzy suburb, like where my parents live, to find a classic sidewalk surface. And, when I visit, I have padded about a little on the sidewalk to get the mail or pace about just a little.

Labels: autobiography, blogs, dating, foot fetish, journal, memoir, toe sucking, Writing